Caroline Flack detailed her decade-long struggles with mental health before she died.
In the frank statement that her family shared four days after her death, the 40-year-old former Love Island host opened up about her battle with mental health in the searingly honest post.
In the lengthy post, that Caroline's family gave to the Eastern Daily Press, she explained in her own words that she had been brushing feelings of "shame and embarrassment" under the carpet for "over ten years" and had been having an "emotional breakdown for a very long time."
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Caroline also told her side of the story in regards to have allegedly being involved in an altercation with her beau Lewis Burton, and maintained her innocence.
She was set to attend court in March.
In full, her post read: "For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it's become the normal.
"I've been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life – for my whole life. I've accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it's all part of my job. No complaining.
"The problem with brushing things under the carpet is …. they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment.
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"On December the 12th 2019 I was arrested for common assault on my boyfriend …Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed. I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen.
"I have always taken responsibility for what happened that night. Even on the night. But the truth is …. It was an accident.
"I've been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time.
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"But I am NOT a domestic abuser. We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident. The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal.
"The reason I am talking today is because my family can't take anymore. I've lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment.
"I can't spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone.
"I'm so sorry to my family for what I have brought upon them and for what my friends have had to go through.
"I'm not thinking about 'how I'm going to get my career back.' I'm thinking about how I'm going to get mine and my family's life back.
"I can't say anymore than that."
Caroline's mum, who shared the post with the publication, added: "Carrie sent me this message at the end of January but was told not to post it by advisers but she so wanted to have her little voice heard.
"So many untruths were out there but this is how she felt and my family and I would like people to read her own words.
"Carrie was surrounded by love and friends but this was just too much for her."
The host had written the post and sent it to her mum at the end of January.
But her advisors told her not to post as she was under instructions to stay silent on social media.
The inquest into Caroline's death is set to take place today.
* Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected]
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