Liam Payne reveals he had suicidal thoughts after loneliness ‘sent him to a bad place’… and admits he thinks about Cheryl ‘moving on’ but that ‘she deserves happiness’
Liam Payne has revealed he has battled suicidal thoughts and that he’s ‘lucky to still be here’.
The singer, 26, appeared on Straight Talking with Ant Middleton on Tuesday night, where he opened up about his mental health, fame, his relationship with Cheryl and their two-year-old son Bear, and his time in One Direction.
When asked about his ‘darker’ moments, Liam said: ‘Fame is like having a weird midlife crisis .I am lucky to be here still.’
Liam Payne has revealed he has battled suicidal thoughts and that he’s ‘lucky to still be here’
Asked by Ant, 38, to elaborate, Liam was reluctant at first.
‘I can’t go too deep into it, I haven’t made my peace with it…’ he said.
But eventually, Ant coaxed him into saying more, as they chatted in the middle of the Southern African game country.
‘There’s times where that level of loneliness and people getting into you every day every so often… that’s almost nearly killed me a couple of times.
Candid: The singer, 26, opened up about his mental health, fame and his relationship with Cheryl and their two-year-old son Bear [pictured in February 2018]
Opening up: Liam appeared on Straight Talking with Ant Middleton on Tuesday night
‘I’ve been in a bad place… it’s been on the menu a couple of times in my life. Luckily I had great people around me. When things start to pile up on you it can get you, and you can only control you. You have to get on with it
‘You think there’ll be another hurdle in a couple of months, you just need to get on with it. It’s always turned out alright, even in the darkest situations.’
Ant – who stars on SAS: Who Dares Wins, and is an expert in interrogation – pressed Liam on his highly-publicised relationship with pop star Cheryl – which ended last year.
Liam seemed much happier talking about this chapter of his life, saying: ‘It’s not the most normal situation. My life is abnormal, so what is normal? We genuinely get on, there are so many parallels we share in life.’
When asked about his ‘darker’ moments, Liam said: ‘Fame is like having a weird midlife crisis .I am lucky to be here still’
Tell me more: Ant coaxed him into saying more, as they chatted in the middle of the Southern African game country
He went on: ‘I hope she’s happy, she deserves it, she’s a great mum, she works hard, she deserves to find happiness. I have thought long and hard about [her moving on with someone else]. We will find our own peace with it, for now, it’s good. I go over, do whatever, watch TV, it’s good, it’s nice.’
Ant asked Liam how he got together with the Love Made Me Do It songstress, who is a decade older than him and was a judge on The X Factor when he was a teen constant.
‘I went to Simon’s house, and made a joke about how hot Cheryl was,’ Liam recalled. ‘Simon was like, “I know who’s going to be the next Mrs Payne!”
‘Then I was in a bar and Niall [Horan] came in and told me that Cheryl liked me. I was like “Cheryl? Cheryl?” Niall was in Simon’s dressing room, Simon said my name, she went red and left. So I hit her up.’
Honest: ‘There’s times where that level of loneliness and people getting into you every day every so often… that’s almost nearly killed me a couple of times,’ Liam said
He continued: ‘I’ve been in a bad place… it’s been on the menu a couple of times in my life. Luckily I had great people around me’
Liam told Ant that he and Cheryl then ‘hung out a bunch of times’ and that he feels he ‘won X Factor more than anyone’.
Asked if they’ll ever get back together, Liam joked: ‘If she plays her cards right – I’m going to get a slap!’
He went on to explain why they split.
‘Both of us struggled under the pressure – working away a lot, a lot of noise being shouted at us about it, having a child in the mix, we grew apart,’ he explained. ‘I was worried I would not be enough to look after the both of them.
Talking it out: Ant – who stars on SAS: Who Dares Wins, and is an expert in interrogation – pressed Liam on his highly-publicised relationship with pop star Cheryl – which ended last year
Shedding light: Liam seemed much happier talking about Cheryl, saying – ‘It’s not the most normal situation. My life is abnormal, so what is normal? We genuinely get on, there are so many parallels we share in life’
‘As much as we’re not together, she is one of the most important people – if not the most important person – in my life. Even though we’re not together, Cheryl is always there for me, she understands what I’m going through.
‘The one thing I was always missing as a man in the relationship was a level of understanding of the way she might be feeling about certain stuff. I learnt that, although I wanted to protect her, there was a big side of her that wanted to protect me.’
Of their son, Bear, Liam said: ‘I get lonely if I can’t see Bear for a few days. It seems to the outside world that I have everything but there are so many parts missing. Uncertainty is a big thing in my life, I don’t know how long it will last.
‘Also, my home life situation is problematic and difficult. Distance is difficult. And there are 50 million rumours a week which are hard to ignore. Trust is difficult.
Brutally honest: ‘As much as we’re not together, she is one of the most important people – if not the most important person – in my life. Even though we’re not together, Cheryl is always there for me, she understands what I’m going through,’ Liam said
Going the distance: ‘Being away from your child out of choice and no choice is difficult to barter with in your head. You know why you’re doing what you’re doing but you wonder what you’re missing out on. Have you got it right?’ Liam pondered
‘Being away from your child out of choice and no choice is difficult to barter with in your head. You know why you’re doing what you’re doing but you wonder what you’re missing out on. Have you got it right?
‘So many people get to the end of their life and go: “I wish I’d done this and that.” I don’t want to be one of those people.’
Liam admitted that he has to be private with Bear – and that this comes at a cost.
‘It’s a risk for anyone to see what he looks like. I haven’t even seen my kid go down a slide yet!’
Companions: Liam admitted that he has to be private with Bear – and that this comes at a cost
Evasive: Ant couldn’t resist asking Liam about his reported fling with supermodel Naomi Campbell, who, at 49, is 23 years older than him. ‘She was just a friend… a pal… an old buddy, an old pal…’ Liam said, coyly
As they were: Liam found fame with 1D in 2010 alongside Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. Zayn [pictured top left] famously left in 2015, and the band split in 2016
Ant couldn’t resist asking Liam about his reported fling with supermodel Naomi Campbell, who, at 49, is 23 years older than him.
‘She was just a friend… a pal… an old buddy, an old pal…’ Liam said, coyly.
Lastly on the candid agenda was One Direction – the band that made Liam famous, now on indefinite hiatus.
‘I think we’ll get back together,’ Liam admitted, in a shock revelation. ‘But it’s not on me. I am at peace with it. A few people haven’t made peace with it yet and are chasing different dreams.’
New direction: Lastly on the candid agenda was One Direction – the band that made Liam famous, now on indefinite hiatus
Revealing: ‘I think we’ll get back together,’ Liam admitted, in a shock revelation. ‘But it’s not on me. I am at peace with it. A few people haven’t made peace with it yet and are chasing different dreams’
Liam found fame with the band in 2010 alongside Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. Zayn famously left in 2015, and the band split in 2016.
Of the possible comeback, Liam said: ‘I doubt it will be all five of us.’
Asked whether or not he’d want all five to reform, he said: ‘I think we were okay as a four in the end.’
He went on: ‘It all got a little bit weird as it all finished. When we split, that was like getting to know the feeling of growing up. That was my childhood.’
Of the possible comeback, Liam said: ‘I doubt it will be all five of us. I think we were okay as a four in the end’
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