‘So you’re writing an article for Metro.co.uk? That’s cool. Just don’t go spreading any careless whispers…’
Everyone laughs, I die a little bit inside.
Unfortunately, I was destined to hear these jokes. It’s Greek tradition to name your child after one of their grandparents. Perhaps in my family more than most, this has been a slightly inconvenient practice…
Thus, I, George Michael, son of Michael Michael, grandson of George Michael, was coincidentally given the same name as the leather-wearing, hip-popping, world-renowned singer. Yay.
It didn’t take long for people to start making comments…
‘Sing us a song!’ I don’t think anyone wants that.
‘Gotta have faith.’ Gotta go kill myself.
‘Wanna do lines of coke in the bathroom?’ Um, excuse me?
And for fans of Arrested Development, I have occasionally been told that there’s money in the banana stand.
Hello, My Name Is…
It’s not easy having the same name as someone, or something, famous.
In Metro.co.uk’s weekly Hello, My Name Is… series, we’ll hear the funny, surprising and frankly mundane stories of people whose parents really didn’t know what they were getting their children into.
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To be honest, I don’t mind the jokes at all. People are just trying to be nice and find something to have a laugh about. If something as simple as my name can help, that’s cool.
Having said that, I certainly don’t go around advertising the fact that I’m called George Michael – much to my despair, my friends do it for me.
In true Harry Potter style (you should read his piece), I introduce myself as just George, until one of my friends pipes up with ‘his full name is George Michael’. The other person, who I’ve just met, looks at me with scepticism (understandably so), probably thinking ‘what a weird wind-up…’
I’ll either deny it just to confuse them even more, or resignedly admit the truth. People have even taken selfies with my ID in disbelief.
These sorts of funny responses are pretty common. Just last week, I called to make a reservation.
The woman on the other end of the line asked for various details, including the time of booking, my phone number, and of course, my name. I told her George Michael, at which point she thought I was playing a prank on her.
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Three years ago, on my first ever date with my now-girlfriend, we turned up 30 minutes late to the venue, so they had given our booking to someone else.
I gave my name to the guy behind the desk, at which point he said ‘well I suppose I can make an exception for George Michael…’ I thought I was about to look so frickin’ awesome in front of my date, until it became clear that he was having me on.
Alas, I had to rely solely on my exceptionally average charm (and a few piña coladas) to win her over.
I also had a friend called Tom Jones in school – you can imagine the look on people’s faces when we had to give our names at venues.
After all this, I don’t have any standard responses. My attitude towards it is the same as my attitude towards dating – I’ve never been one for pre-planned one-liners, it doesn’t feel authentic.
I did consider changing my name when I was younger and unsure that I wanted to deal with these sorts of interactions for the rest of my life. But it didn’t feel right.
The ice-breaking jokes, the embarrassment at the doctor’s when my name gets publicly called, the inability to spell my name properly on Facebook in case they take my profile down for masquerading as a famous figure… in a weird kind of way, I would miss it.
And nothing has changed since George Michael’s death – a day I remember, oh so well…
It was Christmas day, 2016. I was playing games with my family, when my phone exploded with messages.
‘Dude are you OK?’
‘I’m here for you.’
‘Rest in peace.’
What in the Christmas spirit were they on about? It was only after I checked social media that I found out the news.
I’ve never gone out of my way to listen to George Michael. He was a great singer of course, and apparently he was a nice guy. My mum’s a fan (as are most people’s). So from that perspective, there are worse celebrities to share names with.
Besides, both my grandad and the celebrity have passed away, so I must humbly carry the burden of being the best George Michael alive.
I hope this gave you an insight into what it’s like having my name. Just make sure to wake me up before you go go.
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