If you’re a woman, then you’ve probably been called a ‘gold digger’ at some point in your life.
Whether it’s because you’ve swiped right on a finance guy on Tinder, you’ve been taken somewhere fancier than Nando’s on a date, or simply professed to having a crush on a footballer.
While the delivery may be light-hearted, at the root of it is sexism.
And that’s exactly what Married At First Sight’s Laura Vaughan called out.
In Tuesday night’s episode, it emerged that fellow contestant Luke Worley had called Laura a gold digger behind her back after she described her type as a ‘Chelsea boy’.
He said: ‘When you sat on the couch… what you was [sic] asking for was a man with money who was going to look after you financially. You come across as a gold digger.’
‘The gold digger narrative is so f***ing lazy,’ she told him. ‘That was disrespectful.’
In two separate confessionals, she added: ‘Luke has a lot of opinions. He called me a gold digger and he’s in the wrong. I’m not gonna take anyone’s s**t… it’s misogynistic and I just think that it needs to stop right now.’
Watching the scenes unfold, I felt a sense of pride for Laura, who’d had the confidence to call out his unfair criticism. I know how easy it is to laugh these things off for an easier life, but Laura knew it was wrong and showed viewers you don’t have to accept it.
I couldn’t agree more with Laura. If a man claimed his type was ‘Chelsea girl’, would we presume they wanted to get into their Birkin purse? Probably not.
That’s because women have a whole different set of mind-boggling standards we have to adhere to if we want to get the approval of society, that men simply don’t have to consider.
Just look at the way high profile women are treated.
Amber Heard was labelled a gold digger in the wake of her split from Johnny Depp. Kim Kardashian was referred to as one when she met Kanye West, and once again when they were separating. Even Molly-Mae Hague was accused of going after Tommy Fury’s family money during Love Island, and cruelly labelled Money-Mae.
All these women were doing just fine before they met their partners (or exes now for the former two) but nobody is talking about that.
This is why Laura calling Luke out for using the term feels so important. She overheard a man calling her a sexist term behind her back – something I suspect happens far more often than women know – and called it out.
She didn’t need to defend herself, but she said: ‘I have never once in my life needed a man to pay for anything… I actually paid for my last wedding. If I’m a gold digger, then I’m definitely doing it wrong.’
Laura has done the right thing addressing the situation and explaining why she finds it offensive
The Hampshire-based finance manager has explained she likes the Chelsea accent and these types of men for their gentlemanly ways. Perhaps, she does want her partner to match her financial stability and is that so wrong?
I’m reminded of the words of America Ferrera’s character in the recent Barbie film, who said: ‘[Women] have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass.’
It feels like our patriarchal society is making more rules for us each day. Women can’t want money, express financial desires or be too financially-motivated. It’s bad taste to be reliant on a man for it.
If you want to be a mother, get back to the office ASAP to fund your own way, but also don’t neglect your children by prioritising a career.
If you’re going to out-earn your male partner, then make sure that the information is never public. In fact, earn less so he doesn’t feel emasculated. You’ve got to need men, but don’t need them too much, as then you’re just after his money.
We have to keep the equilibrium perfectly balanced or we’ll be immediately lambasted.
Although women often take the brunt of these requirements, it’s not good for anyone. Men don’t want to be questioning if their desirability comes from the figure that arrives in their bank on pay day.
Laura has done the right thing addressing the situation and explaining why she finds it offensive. Now I would like to see Luke acknowledge the assumptions he made about her and apologise.
Going forward, I want Luke and the rest of the cast to actually assess if they’re being kind or fair by firing off this insult with no evidence.
I think it’s time we filed for divorce from the gold digger narrative once and for all, and say ‘I do’ to not viewing women so reductively.
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