Emma Watson is not in a relationship and she is happy about it.
Her comments, taken from an extract of an upcoming Vogue interview, have hit the headlines partly because she has decided to call herself ‘self-partnered’ and partly because she is admitting that she is fine about being single, which people still find hard to believe of any woman.
There is of course always the danger that she won’t be believed, that perhaps she is simply doing a PR job on her own life. Let’s not forget Jennifer Aniston. Forever cast as unlucky in love, it doesn’t matter how many times she says she is alright, there will always be headlines that shout that she is still single.
But I remain hopeful that Emma’s comments are part of a wider trend in single positivity. There definitely feels like there has been a shift in the zeitgeist in recent years.
Personally I went through a phase of feeling like a failure. Now, just like Emma, I feel confident enough to be open about my single status and to admit I actually quite like it.
I remember earlier this year sharing an article on social media about how single women are happier than coupled-up women, which was based on the work of Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics.
To have an expert confirm what I had begun to suspect was brilliantly validating. There are even studies which suggest that women who get divorced and don’t remarry tend to live longer than married women.
Even so, admitting out loud that I am pretty happy being single can feel like the ultimate rebellion, which is why I am cheering on Emma for doing just that.
From an incredibly young age it is drilled into us that the natural order of things is to fall in love, get married and have a baby. It’s a message that is shoved down children’s throats form day one – just think of all the books and films with this message.
Admitting out loud that I am pretty happy being single can feel like the ultimate rebellion, which is why I am cheering on Emma for doing just that.
Even in movies where the character is single, more often than not she has fallen in love by the time the credits begin.
Even Emma saying in her Vogue interview that she didn’t previously believe you could be single and happy goes to show what we’re up against.
I feel like I am pointing out the obvious when I say this, but real life is not like a fairytale. Those in relationships have to admit that not every day is filled with joy. There will be struggles and hard times and of course, there will also be brilliant and happy times.
If this is true for those in relationships, why is it so hard to believe the same can be true for those without a partner?
The fact remains that people do find it hard to believe and the pressure put on women to find someone – anyone – remains great. In the article mentioned above, Dolan says it’s the existing narrative that marriage and children are signs of success that results in stigma and could lead some single women to feel unhappy.
Perhaps this is why Emma has re-branded being single as being ‘self-partnered’. While I quite admire her for it, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s ‘conscious uncoupling’, I’m not sure it will actually catch on.
But it does feel like Emma’s comments have come at a great time for single people. There has been a rise in content for us, such as Catherine Gray’s brilliant book The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single. I do think that just like any stigma, it is only going to be broken if we can talk more openly about how being single really isn’t so bad.
For someone as high profile as Emma to come out with it can only be a good thing.
Aside from making other single women feel less alone and feel like they can actually enjoy their lives, I hope the shift will also help women trapped in unhappy and unhealthy relationships realise that there really are worse things than being single.
Nicola Slawson is the campaigns manager for Press Pad, which aims to solve the problem of journalism being so elite, and writes a newsletter for single women called The Single Supplement.
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