Anna Williamson has been helping famous faces find love on Celebs Go Dating, but that doesn't mean she's too busy to help out us mere mortals too.
Ahead of the release of her book, Where is the Love?: The Honest Guide to Dating and Relationships, Anna has exclusively given OK! her best advice as we head towards Valentine's Day.
Whether you're in a relationship, looking for love, happy to be single or just want a friend with benefits, the 40 year old has tips for you.
"For me, there are two counts when it comes to Valentine's Day," she says. "There are the people who love it and are all over it and there are the people who hate it and think it's a load of old tosh. I sit somewhere in the middle.
"I am a big fan of sod it, if there is an opportunity to celebrate something positive – especially when it comes to the last couple of years that we've had – I think we should grab it with both hands.
But then on the flip side, we should we be showing our loved ones that we love them every day."
In a couple? Make your gift count
If you're with a partner, I say to go for it and celebrate, but do something that is appropriate to you as a couple. It's important think outside the box, flowers and dinner for two is such a cliche. That's nice if it works for you, but what shows more thought is something bespoke.
I'm a big fan of love languages and how you know you feel love, it can be something as simple as a handwritten note. Lots of people don't have a lot of money at the moment because of the pandemic so you don't need to go and buy the most expensive roses, buy something a little bit different.
Maybe even make something! Make some homemade vouchers, what I always appreciate is a little handmade voucher that says, 'I'm giving you a night off from doing bath time with the kids' or a lie in or a massage, something like that.
The thought really does count when it comes to Valentine's Day so go for it, why not? You can boycott the commercialisation of it by doing something unique to you as a couple.
How to avoid Valentine's Day
For the people who aren't in relationships and hate the thought of Valentine's Day and see it as a bit of a kick in the gut that hammers home the fact you're in a single status, you can completely ignore it and just put it down to another date in the diary that will come and go.
Distract yourself and do something completely different that doesn't put you in the eye of storm where you're surrounded by people with love hearts and flowers, you don't want to be reminded of everybody else's love bliss if that's not something that you're experiencing.
You can always surround yourself with your girlfriends or your guy friends and do something different instead. Valentine's Day falls on a Monday this year and I actually am a fan of bucking the trend of a Monday which is the day that most of us stay in and are well-behaved because it's the beginning of the week.
This year, I say 'go for it', we've had a dreadful couple of years so get together with your pals, go out for some cocktails or host a dinner at your house, even just have a cosy one in your PJs with Bridget Jones on. Just do something because why not?
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Navigating online dating
The main thing I always say is that you've got to get your intention right. If you are half arsed in any way then now is not the time for you to be launching yourself into dating apps or talking to people or going out and meeting people. What you put out, you receive back so if you are lacklustre about it, anyone you meet is going to pick up on that.
Think about why you want to date, who you want to date and what your intentions are for dating. Focus on what outcome you want. Is that companionship, to settle down, are you looking for marriage and children or just friends with benefits? There is an app out there for every single box to be ticked.
I am a big fan of online dating but it can seem quite overwhelming because there is so much choice. I would say to hone in on what you want and only stick to a couple of online platforms. The free ones are perfectly fine but expect to be met with a lot of people that don't have the same intentions as you.
You have to write a really honest, upfront and empowered bio about what you are looking for from the dating world which will knock out a lot of the time wasters.
Finding the confidence to date
It really does start with you. It sounds really cheesy but we say it all the time on Celebs Go Dating. In fact, it's the first thing we do with all of our celebrities. You can't be the best to anybody else until you're the best to yourself. You can't give someone all of you love, attention and time if you're not giving that yourself first.
If you're lacking in confidence, you need to do a big self esteem regroup. Lean on the people you trust the most and ask them what they love about you and what your best attributes are, then ask yourself why you're great. I'm a big fan of positive affirmations so write down and say out loud three things which are positive.
We've just done a lot of this work with Ulrika Jonsson on Celebs Go Dating because she had very low confidence when it came to dating and that was showing. But the minute she started to realise she was great as she is with all of her quirks, it changed her dating game and it came out like a beautiful warmth.
Remind yourself what you have to offer a potential date. It's all about you, shift your mindset to what you can offer someone and not what you're looking for and you will enjoy dating.
What can you tell us about your book, Where is the Love?
I'm so excited about it. I have written this book for me as much as everyone else. It is your go to guide for dating and relationships. I'm not reinventing the wheel but I'm shining a big light on what is actually going on in the dating world and being really honest about that.
We often don't know what goes on behind closed doors but what I do know as a relationship coach is that most of us are dealing with the same challenges. We can often feel isolated and broken about our relationships when, actually, a lot of things just require a bit of tweaking.
I have a whole chapter about arguing. It's great and actually really important to argue. It's about learning how to argue better and in a more constructive way. There's a chapter about kids, because an overwhelming thing I get from my followers is how relationships change after you have children, and I want to stop relationships breaking up too early when they could be salvaged.
I think sometimes we think we know when we want to throw the towel in, when actually there's a lot we can do to get it back on track, most of it is about communication. Of course, some relationships are not a sensible place to stay and there's even a chapter about that about when is the right time to come out of a relationship, I'm just going to teach people how to do that in the best way they possibly can.
I'm sticking a bit of a bomb under all of our relationships post-pandemic, we've had an awful time, we're all sick of the sight of each other but we're not enemies and we need to remind ourselves why we're in a great couple.
And for those on the dating scene, I'm teaching you all the tips and tricks on how to get into the dating world. It's a really honest and anecdotal book which is easy to read on how to smash it in love.
Anna's book, Where is the Love?: The Honest Guide to Dating and Relationships, is available to pre-order now (Green Tree, £12.99).
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