My boyfriend refuses to wear a condom.
In fact, he doesn’t like talking about any form of contraception because it makes him feel “icky”. He says I’m uptight for “taking the romance out of love making”.
He rants that condoms are for kids and he doesn’t need to wear one because he doesn’t have any sexually transmitted diseases and is experienced enough not to get me pregnant.
READ MORE: 'Boyfriend's a sh*gger and daughter saw him screwing in front room – he just laughed'
He knows I can’t take the pill due to health reasons. The one time I tried to insert a contraceptive cap in front of him, he laughed his head off and accused me of killing the moment.
As a result, our moments in bed make me feel anxious and tense. I can’t relax because I’m terrified that he’ll slip up and make me pregnant. I haven’t had an orgasm in ages and can’t wait to get him off me.
He’s older than I am. He’s divorced and prides himself on being a “man of the world”. He says I’ve got nothing to be worried about because he always withdraws just before he climaxes.
Yes, he’s the father of three kids but every single one of those was planned and wanted.
He complains that I need to learn to trust him. He says that I have trust issues. I often feel that everything is a test with him. I want to do the right thing and enjoy a normal sex life but feel as though I’m battling a difficult and controlling guy.
JANE SAYS: I get the impression you’re in awe of your older, more worldly boyfriend – but is he really the one for you?
If he refuses to have an adult conversation about your concerns or meet you halfway, are you equal?
I worry that he is too quick to impose his will and ego rather than listen to your concerns and start being mature and supportive. If you were to become pregnant, would he stick around to support you and the child?
Would he even be interested in steering through a termination if the mere mention of contraception makes him feel “icky” and looking at a contraceptive cap makes him laugh?
It all sounds a bit lame and pathetic to me. The plain truth is that if you’re old enough to have sex, you’re old enough to take responsibility for your body.
Talk to your GP to get contraception sorted out. Also, type “contraception” in the NHS Choices website and find out about the various types available, plus where you can get them from.
There are no short cuts. If you don’t want to get pregnant, you have to take control of this situation and look after yourself.
I cannot believe this individual is right for you.
Take a step back and re-assess this relationship.
Getting your life back (as a single woman) might be a better option. Don’t continue to sell yourself short when you’re worth so much more than this.
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