DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been meeting my best mate’s sister for red-hot sex and lying to my girlfriend about where I’ve been.
I feel awful for hurting her as she really did save my life. I am 25, my girlfriend is 26 and we have been together for seven years.
I had huge cocaine problems, and she stood by me until I turned my life around.
Unfortunately, I got caught speeding before Christmas and I had to attend a speed awareness course.
My friend’s sister happened to be on the course too. She’s 22 and we’ve always got on.
My girlfriend had gone to stay with her sister who’s recently had a baby, so she wasn’t due back until the following day.
After the course we popped to the pub. We shared a kiss at the end of the night, and she invited me back to her house.
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We took each other’s clothes off and had amazing sex.
I had no idea women could go crazy like that. She exhausted me and still wanted more.
I’ve been meeting her regularly since.
We even went for a weekend away — I travel weekly with my job so I told my girlfriend it was a business trip. Now my lover says she loves me and I said it’s mutual.
I want to be with her more than anything but I cannot bear to hurt my girlfriend as she’s so loyal. I dread to think where I might have ended up if it wasn’t for her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t continue to live this double life.
There’s a connection with your lover through your friend, so the longer you live the lie, the higher the risk she’ll find out and be destroyed.
Sometimes relationships are based on one person’s need and the other person fulfilling that need.
Your girlfriend was there when you needed help with your addictions.
You were 21 then but you’re no longer that person. You’re back on your feet now with a different outlook. Your girlfriend will have evolved also.
Don’t cheat but have some space from your lover while you sort this mess out.
Think carefully about what you really want.
If you want to move on, ending things sooner means less pain for your girlfriend.
Be sure to tell her how special she is and how much she changed your life.
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you to let her girlfriend down as gently as possible.
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