DEAR DEIDRE: ALL my adult life I’ve been proud to say I’m a lesbian, but out of nowhere I’ve found myself infatuated with a male colleague.
To say I’m confused would be an understatement.
I’m 29 and never before have I been attracted to men. Even as an early teen, I knew I was only interested in women.
But everything changed when I started my new job as an account executive in a PR company.
I was buddied up with a colleague to show me the ropes.
We hit it off instantly and I was surprised to find we had a lot in common. He’s 31.
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Initially, I didn’t think anything more of it, I assumed my feelings were platonic and that was as far as it went.
As the months passed, our friendship deepened and we started spending a lot of time together.
Things escalated one night when we decided to visit the pub after work. After a few too many drinks the distance between us started to close and things got flirtier and flirter.
Before I knew it we were back at my place and ended up sharing a very passionate evening together.
At the time it felt so right that I didn’t even question why it was happening, but now my head is completely fried and I can’t get him off my mind.
I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way, or how it’s even happened to me.
I’ve always been so sure of my sexuality, so why can’t I stop fantasising over a man?
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DEIDRE SAYS: For many people, sexuality can be very fluid and isn’t often as black and white as it may seem.
Many people need to experiment before they are clear on their sexual preference, so it’s not abnormal that you’ve discovered a different part of yourself after sleeping with your colleague.
Don’t rush into labelling yourself. Whether you’re lesbian, bisexual or straight, what matters is that you accept yourself for who you are.
My support pack Bisexual Questions will help you think things through.
It would also be helpful for you to talk through your feelings. Contact switchboard.lgbt (0300 330 0630) to find local counselling, support groups and social networks.
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