DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex-wife is asking for another chance – her third. Do I drop everything and start yet again with her?
We met 12 years ago, when we were both 36. We worked at the same events company and I spotted her on day one.
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She had a gorgeous smile and was really cheeky with me. I couldn’t resist when she invited me out for a drink.
Our chemistry was great and we ended up dating for six months.
It was a fun relationship, and the sex was amazing — neither of us was shy when it came to trying new things. But then it all went wrong.
I’d spotted her having a drink in the local pub with another man — I’d hoped he was a friend, but it turned out it was her husband, with whom she shared a 13-year-old son.
It was all too messy for me, so I cut it off.
I didn’t hear from her until a year later, when she got back in touch to tell me her husband had found our original texts and had ended it.
She begged for another chance, and I gave in — to be honest the sex played a big part in my decision.
We ended up tying the knot two years later, and soon after that her son came to live with us.
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But he was a nightmare, regularly skipping school to get drunk with his mates.
He had a stinking attitude as well, and I couldn’t hold my tongue when he started mouthing off to his mum.
Two years in and she ended our relationship, saying if I couldn’t accept her son, I couldn’t accept her.
I was heartbroken and it took me a long time to get back into dating.
Finally I’m happy again — I remarried last year and we moved to the coast last year.
But my ex has reached out again. She’s had another failed marriage, and wants us to give it another shot.
I’m torn — I miss sex with my ex, as it was always so adventurous and full of passion.
But I don’t think I can depend on her and my wife doesn’t deserve to be hurt either.
DEIDRE SAYS: Many people have an ex they would consider giving a second chance to, but a lot fewer would give them a third chance.
And with good reason.
Your ex-wife has let you down multiple times before. Why would this time be any different?
Yes, sex with her might be more exciting than with your wife, but you can work on that.
I’m sending you my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex to help.
You sound like you’re happy and settled now.
Why destroy what you’ve built, for some short-lived passion?
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