DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend henpecks me because I’m weak and I have no self-confidence.
We’ve stopped having sex and I’m worried that she’s going to get fed up with me soon and leave me if I don’t change. But I don’t know how.
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We’ve been together for three years. She’s 29 and I’m 27. I have always cared too much about what other people think.
I’m convinced I’m boring or stupid, so I prefer to avoid social situations altogether.
And if I can’t get out of a party, I’ll make excuses to leave early.
My girlfriend makes all the plans and decisions, but she’s losing her patience.
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Lately she’s started criticising me for never expressing my opinion, and told me to “grow a pair”.
I don’t know why I’m like this. It’s making me feel so frustrated and anxious.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Not everyone enjoys socialising or is an extrovert – and that’s fine – we are all unique.
But it sounds like your social anxiety and low self-esteem are making you unhappy.
Your girlfriend’s constant criticism of you will only make matters worse.
Tell her how you feel, that you want to build on your confidence and ask for her support.
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My boyfriend’s so addicted to playing video games that he pays me no attention
Your lack of self-belief may have its roots in your childhood, so I think that some professional counselling could help you.
My Social Anxiety support pack has tips to help you overcome this problem.
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