DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband point-blank refuses to give me oral sex and won’t even touch me down there. I feel unsatisfied the whole time.
We are in our late thirties and have two kids. He’s my best friend and a great dad, but such a selfish lover.
He expects me to give him oral sex and do everything else but he has only done it to me once.
He has refused ever since saying he doesn’t like it.
Foreplay is important to women, as you know.
I’ve tried talking to him about it, telling him what I’d like and asking him what he wants, but he’s happy with me just giving him oral and then falling into the missionary position.
It doesn’t work for me and it seems so selfish of him. He’s such a great guy in other ways, I just don’t get it.
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DEIDRE SAYS: He may feel embarrassed to explain but you have to know whether something about that one experience of giving you oral sex put him off, or is it that he has a general feeling of unease about women “down there”.
Some men are put off by seeing their partner give birth, for example. (I know, hollow laughter from you mums.)
Tell him you love him but this issue is sitting at the heart of your relationship and he can’t just shrug it off any more.
My e-leaflet Guide To Oral Sex will help you to resolve this issue.
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