My partner made me go to party alone so I went and had sex with another woman

DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T want to keep lying to my partner, but she knows something isn’t right.

I know I need to leave after cheating on her on a night out.

I’m 41 and my partner’s 39. We’ve been together for 12 years and have two boys aged nine and seven.

I don’t love her and no longer find her attractive. We have nothing in common.

I was invited to my mate’s 40th birthday party a month ago.

My partner was invited too but one of our sons was ill so she couldn’t make it.

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My partner insisted I went alone. I chatted to just about everyone but there was one woman who I just seemed to have a connection with.

We were flirting a lot and at the end of the night she invited me back to her flat.

We ended up having incredible sex, which made me realise what is lacking in my relationship.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not the first couple to experience this, nor the last.

Perhaps you have drifted apart due to the children, work or life itself.

Do you carve out time for regular date nights or sexual intimacy?

Some counselling sessions might be a good idea to start with, at least for the sake of your children.

Find support via tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).

First though, talk to her and be honest about how you feel and what you want. She might feel the same way.

My 10-year-old son has asked me not to marry my partner after row