I’m sick of my partner trying to keep up with our megarich neighbours.
We live in a cul-de-sac. Ours is a very close-knit community. Folk are in and out of each other’s houses all the time.
If one person buys a big telly, it’s not long before the others follow suit – or go even bigger.
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If the people two doors down throw a party, then it’s expensive food and fine wines all the way.
Recently, one couple threw a lavish engagement bash for their son. Alongside lobster and champagne there was a marquee and top DJ.
I came away feeling like I’d come off an episode of Selling Sunset. The problem is that we’re the poorest people in the village.
We rent our house, at a very reasonable rate, from my partner’s uncle. He’s currently living in Costa Rica and likes us keeping an eye on the place.
We’re fakes. We’re intruders, yet my partner acts like we’re
legit. Any time we’re invited to a barbecue, he insists we invite everyone back a week later.
He buys the best steaks and booze and slaps it all on a credit card. We’re living beyond our means, and it scares me. The other night he mentioned installing a hot tub because a few of the neighbours are swingers and he thinks we could have some fun.
This isn’t even our house!
How do I make him understand that I’m losing my mind? We’re up to our necks in debt while I’m not even convinced any of the neighbours like us.
More than once I’ve found the women snooty and the men condescending and dismissive.
JANE SAYS: Your partner is clearly impressed by your neighbours and the lavish lives they lead, but he’s storing up trouble.
You cannot sleepwalk into serious debt. Credit cards and loans must be repaid – and interest rates are rising.
I can guarantee that your privileged neighbours won’t give two hoots if you find yourselves struggling to pay your rent and utility bills.
The fact is that they’re not your true friends. They’re just people you happen to find yourselves living alongside.
Presumably, once your partner’s uncle gets back, he’ll want his house and you’ll be on your way.
Will you ever hear from these flash neighbours again? I doubt it. Will they
all send Christmas cards? Dream on.
As for installing a hot tub, your partner has to hear that he’s talking nonsense.
Make it clear that you’re not interested in any more
financial outlay – and you definitely don’t wish to swing with anyone, thank you very much…
Sit down together and go through your bills and bank statements today. Make it a priority. Look at budgeting and cutting back. Is there anything that you can sell?
Check out nationaldebtline.org for financial advice.
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