Sexual assault nurse examiner lays bare the horrors of her job – from examining a 35-DAY-OLD abuse victim to having to ‘collect evidence’ from dead bodies – and reveals it’s left her so terrified that she now carries a gun

• Shawn Callahan, from Indiana, provides medical care to victims of assault
• She said the job, which she has had for 13 years, has left her ‘traumatized’ 
• The nurse spoke about the terrible things she has witnessed in a new interview

A sexual assault nurse examiner has laid bare the horrors of her job – from examining a 35-day-old abuse victim to having to ‘collect evidence’ from dead bodies – and has revealed that it’s left her so terrified that she now carries a gun with her everywhere she goes.

For the last 13 years, Shawn Callahan, from Fort Wayne, Indiana, has provided medical care to victims of sexual assault – and while she has made it her mission to make the experience less scary for her patients, witnessing the effects of the terrible abuse first hand has left her severely ‘traumatized.’

During a recent chat with the YouTube channel Soft White Underbelly, Shawn admitted that she has permanent ‘trust issues’ due to the horrors that she’s had to see and hear at work – and she even carries a firearm at all times for ‘protection.’ 

‘It’s a stressful job. I hear things, see things, I have to collect evidence. It’s hard,’ she explained.

A sexual assault nurse examiner has laid bare the horrors of her job – from examining a 35-day-old abuse victim to having to ‘collect evidence’ from dead bodies

For the last 13 years, Shawn Callahan, from Indiana, has provided medical care to victims of sexual assault – but she said witnessing the effects of the abuse has left her ‘traumatized’

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0L3pZAtBvZQ%3Frel%3D0

‘Vicarious trauma is real. I feel like I’m pretty mentally tough but there’s times that [I] don’t do so good.

‘The deeper you get into it the more difficult it becomes because it’s just more baggage every day. Some cases hit you harder than others.

‘I can get in a funk. And it takes days to process it. Some [cases] stick with me. There’s stuff I’ve heard that I can never unhear and stuff that I saw that I’ll never un-see.

‘Whenever I think, “I can’t see something worse,” sure enough, I get proven wrong.’

When asked what the ‘worst’ scenario she’s ever seen is, she said having to examine someone who died at the hands of their abuser tops the list.

‘I have to touch and move [the dead bodies], I’m collecting evidence and taking photos,’ she revealed. 

‘I see vaginal injuries, anal injuries, ruptured spleens, bruising from head to toe. I’ve seen the tiniest body bags you [could imagine], which is very disconcerting. All I could think is, what was the last few minutes of that kid’s life like?’ 

And while the cases involving the deceased are hardest for Shawn, the living patients are just as difficult – especially when they’re young children.

She revealed that it’s left her so terrified that she now carries a gun with her everywhere she goes during a recent chat with the YouTube channel Soft White Underbelly

When asked what the ‘worst’ scenario she’s ever seen is, she said having to examine someone who died at the hands of their abuser tops the list

And while the cases involving the deceased are hardest for Shawn, the living patients are just as difficult – especially when they’re young kids

‘When parents don’t protect their kids, that’s something that’s really hard for me to listen to,’ she shared.

‘When a kid tells me, “I told my mom and she didn’t believe me two years prior and this has continued to happen,” that can make me emotional.’ 

‘I’m sorry that no one protected them. I’m such a protective mom, you’re supposed to protect your kids.

‘Kids are so resilient. Those are the ones that impact me the most, I’m not saying every sexual assault that I deal with doesn’t impact me but those are a gut punch, the kids. Especially when you know it’s gone on for long periods of time.’

She revealed that the youngest patient she ever treated was 35 days old, while the oldest was 94 years old. 

Shawn explained that her job is to provide ‘the medical forensic exam for individuals who have been sexually assaulted,’ as well as offer ‘testing and medication for sexually transmitted infections.’ But the ‘most important’ part of her work is how she ‘treats’ the victims.

‘The way that I treat people is the most important thing. No one is coming to us for a good reason, ever,’ she said.

‘Anyone that walks through the door has suffered something horrible. I know the way I treat people has an impact and it can improve the outcome for them.

‘Being treated with respect and dignity right after something like that happens [is vital].

‘Forensic nurses are a different breed and they’re very passionate about what they do. 

‘I treat my patients with such compassion. They feel comfortable [with me] because I can build repour with people very quickly.’

She revealed that the youngest patient she ever treated was 35 days old, while the oldest was 94 years old

Shawn, who said she got into the profession because she wanted to make a ‘huge impact,’ added that while she has struggled with the stuff she has witnessed, she still finds it ‘fulfilling’

Shawn explained that she tries to use ‘humor’ to gain her patients’ trust, as well as sarcasm to break the ice.

‘I always try to make people laugh while they’re there,’ she revealed.

She also always lets the people that she works with know that she’s ‘really proud’ of them for coming to see her.

She continued: ‘I let everyone know, “You’ve very brave. And I’m so happy that I’m the nurse that gets to take care of you. And anything that you don’t want to do, you don’t have to do while you’re here. Even if mommy and daddy say to do something, here, you’re the boss.” 

‘I want them to know they have control over the situation because they absolutely had no control over what happened to them.’

She also reminds them that it’s ‘not their fault,’ adding: ‘Giving people their dignity and showing people their self worth is the biggest part of my job. 

‘I wish I could change things for people but I can’t. Especially by the time they get to me, I wish I had a magic wand that could take it all away but I can’t. But what I can do is treat people well.’

Shawn, who said she got into the profession because she wanted to make a ‘huge impact,’ added that while she has struggled with the stuff she has witnessed, she still finds her work ‘absolutely fulfilling.’

‘It’s fulfilling, it’s absolutely fulfilling, it’s just hard. There’s days I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” Because I can help people,’ she concluded. 

‘Your worth is never gonna be determined by where you lay your head at night, how much money you have, the atrocities that have happened to you, how many friends you have, or what kind of shoes you’re wearing.

‘I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of us are worthy in God’s eyes and that every one of us are his masterpieces.’

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