Shane MacGowan's widow said she spent 35 years fretting about his death because he pushed the boundaries of what humans can do to their bodies'.
Victoria Mary Clarke said seeing The Pogues' singer perform was like watching a racing driver and not knowing if they were going to crash'. She said she had worried for over three decades how she would react to what seemed the inevitable demise of the legendary caner.
Writer Victoria, 57, feared she would "fall apart", "not be able to speak", end up in a coma, turn to drugs herself or even lose her own life. But she said the worldwide outpouring of love and support for the Fairytale Of New York singer following his death aged 65 last week had helped her cope.
READ MORE: Want more showbiz? Daily Star has just the thing for you!
READ MORE: Want more TV? Daily Star has just the thing for you!
He had been diagnosed with encephalitis after years of booze and drug abuse. Victoria said she hoped Fairytale would become the Christmas No1 as a final tribute to the Irish star – whose funeral is due to be held in Nenagh (corr), County Tipperary, on Friday (December 8) – though she admitted he himself would probably would not have been too bothered.
"When it was originally released in 1987 it only made No2. I don't think Shane would mind too much if Fairytale goes to No1,'' she told ITV's Good Morning Britain. "I don't think it was ever that important to him because I think that he really appreciated the fact that so many people love it and it means so much to so many people and being No1 isn't really all about being appreciated.
"I think I might have thought it was a little bit cheesy at the time. Sometimes these songs did seem a bit cheesy, but then, when you heard them properly, you get it, you know? I often criticised his songwriting which didn't go down too well. I do love it now.''
Victoria said the couple had each supported the other throughout their relationship – even though it had been tough. I loved standing on the side of the stage watching him,'' she said.
"It wasn't always easy, as you will know, because he pushed the boundaries and he was reckless and he was very unconventional. So it was like watching a racing driver and not knowing if they were going to crash, watching him going on stage.
"I know that, for me, I spent many many years, probably at least 35 years, worrying about losing Shane because he just pushed the boundaries so much of what humans can do to their bodies. So I dreaded that and I thought that I would fall apart, I thought I would die, I thought I would not be able to speak, I thought I'd be comatose or on drugs myself or something like that.
"So I just want you all to know that it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. And there's a huge amount of love that comes your way when you lose someone, that you didn't really expect.
Have you joined Threads? Follow Daily Star to keep up to date on all things showbiz here
"In my case, you know, I've been overwhelmed by how much love and support there is.'' Victoria said the outpouring of love for Shane following his death has been a welcome surprise as he had spent much of the latter part of his life at home with her watching TV.
"We spent most of our lives in recent years sitting at home watching The Crown,'' she said. "We didn't really go out so we didn't know what was going on in the outside world very much. We had a very quiet life, very, very happy, and we didn't want anything else.
We just wanted to sit here together watching telly. But to know now that there's all these people out there who feel so strongly about him. You lose with one hand but you receive with the other. There's an equal and opposite sort of reaction."
For the latest breaking news and stories from across the globe from the Daily Star, sign up for our newsletter by clicking here
Source: Read Full Article
