Good Girls Recap: The Cost of Living

Beth Boland is living on borrowed time. With Good Girls‘ ever-captivating Rio back on the lam, her fake pregnancy story isn’t going to save her hide forever. These ladies better think of their next play fast before this trio is shot down to a duo.

Beth’s house is still being watched by Rio’s goon on Sunday’s episode, sparking Dean to buy a gun. “I need to kill a man,” he tells the clerk, which probably isn’t the best thing to say when shopping for a gat. While Dean goes all John Wayne, the threat of danger is exhausting Beth. Rio’s dude is parked across the street chilling with a copy of InTouch he picked up from a neighbor. Annie suggests they go to Canada and buy a baby, which is really the most Annie thing she could possibly say. They struggle to figure out a potential plan, very much aware that the clock is ticking.

Ruby’s daughter Sara gets fired from a tutoring gig when she’s accused of stealing a “stupid pen.” That pen is a platinum-engraved piece that costs as much as a car. When Ruby tries to defend Sara, Stan cops an attitude. He balks when Ruby asks what they’re going to do. “You’re the resident crime lord,” he spits. Shots fired!

Beth sets up a meeting with Rio. After ordering a round of shots, she tells him she lost the baby. “So what comes next?” she asks him. “Nothing good,” is his response. She asks him how much her life is worth, but he tells her she can’t afford it. “What if I could?” she asks.

The price tag: $100,000. “How firm was he on this number?” asks Ruby. (I’d say pretty firm, Rube!)

The ladies meet at a sports bar to brainstorm. While Annie is unloading another half-cocked idea, Ruby heads to the bathroom. She opts to brave it out in the men’s room and finds what may be the answer they’re looking for: a signed Gordie Howe’s jersey from the 1955 Stanley Cup. As they try to make a getaway, a waitress accidentally spills a tray on Ruby, staining the entire back of the jersey with sauce. Using vinegar, baking soda and lemon juice, Beth makes a paste to try to clean it. How long does it take a stain to set again?

Meanwhile, Stan is tearing up Sara’s room looking for the pen. Ruby once again defends her daughter, but Stan won’t hear any of it. Looks like Ruby’s extracurricular activities are finally affecting her home-front. So much for egg rolls.

Annie and her therapist Dr. Cohen bond when Annie, fearing for her sister’s life, accidentally tells him Beth has cancer… the same kind his mother unfortunately died of. The two share a hug which gives Annie the wrong impression. She asks him about it the next time she sees him, but he assures her a hug is just a hug, and that he may have overstepped a boundary.

Beth’s home remedy cleans the jersey right up, so the gals meet at a pawn shop to hawk the goods. To their dismay, the jersey’s a fake, but Ruby finds something else of value: the pen Sara was accused of stealing. She shows a picture of Sara to the man behind the counter, and it turns out the young grasshopper is guilty as charged!

Ruby confronts Sara about the money and the girl says it’s in the same place Ruby keeps hers. “I don’t know what you do, but it doesn’t come from painting nails,” says Sara.

Using Sara’s cash, Ruby gets a boatload of singles and the women get to work printing new counterfeit money. We montage through a few batches, with their new employee returning cold, hard (real) cash. But it doesn’t take long for Rio to snatch him up. Apparently, Beth’s guy was running money through Rio’s guy, and now Rio wants to know who his employer is… because the fake money looks good. Really good.

Dr. Cohen visits Annie’s apartment and tells her it’s not uncommon for patients to get crushes on their therapists. Then he drops some knowledge: “You have a storied history of pursuing inaccessible men, which is a defense mechanism to protect you from rejection.” He tells her she uses sex and sarcasm to make her bulletproof to any real emotion. Man, this guy is good! “You can’t charge me for that,” is the only thing Annie can muster.

Rio visits Beth and work and demands she show him her printing process. Beth tries to play dumb, but Rio pulls out a gun, so clearly the jig is up. She brings him to the back room and walks him through her production. When all is said and done, Beth asks him what he thinks. “I think I need you alive,” he says.

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