VICKY Pattison took to Instagram earlier today to proudly show off her weight gain – admitting that she used to be "too heartbroken and lost to eat".
The 32-year-old star was praised for her honesty as she shared two bikini photos to reflect on body image after completing a week at a juice retreat.
Captioning the post, the TV favourite explained: "It was almost exactly a year ago from when I was last here, and as you may be able to see from these pictures – it’s been a transitional period indeed.
"This first body might look healthy, might look lean and toned, but it wasn’t the product of hours in the gym, yoga classes or healthy eating- it was the product of almost giving up.
"Of actually being too heartbroken and lost to eat. I just couldn’t bring myself to eat or care about anything. All I could focus on was all the negative.
"This girl didn’t sleep, and when she did she would wake up crying and shaking, I had anxiety, I was stressed."
Alluding to the death of her best friend Paul Burns, who passed away on 2 June last year, she continued: "I was so petrified of my own phone ringing and there being more bad news I was scared to pick it up, at the same time needing it near me as some sort of emotional crutch or security blanket.
"I spent my week away posting a slew of half naked pictures in some sort of desperate and misguided act of defiance. As if by showing the world that I was thin and toned I was showing them I was somehow okay and strong.
"Underneath it all I wasn't – I was drowning in the grief of a lost best friend, a lost relationship and the loss of the future I had planned for myself."
Turning to a happier note, Vicky – who is loved up with boyfriend Ercan Ramadan – marvelled at her progress as she wrote: "Fast forward a year and I am a different person.
"Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a couple extra lumps and bumps that I’d prefer weren’t there and I’ve definitely added to my cellulite collection but I AM HAPPY!
"Do you know what I see when I look at the second picture? A girl who wouldn’t give up. Who has fought for what she knows she deserves.
"I see my amazing year filled with love, laughter and beautiful people. I see my late night nuggets in bed with a remarkable man, I see silly nights out with the girls I couldn’t live without.
"I see PT sessions and charity bike rides, adventures with my mam- I see strength (I also see nipples so sorry about that- it was a bit chilly).
"This is just a little reminder for anyone struggling- all those old cliches are true. Time is the best healer, you will look back and laugh, what is meant for you will not pass you by and it will get better…. Oh, so much better. Mark my words".
Vicky was inundated with praise from her followers for the brutally honest post, with one commenting: "Well done to you for coming this far."
Another added: "Look at the difference in your face! Glowing on that second one!"
A third said: "Second picture is a picture of health happiness and a real woman. You go girl – you're rocking it."
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