At this point, it feels like Kate Middleton and Prince William have been together since when royal life consisted of huge turkey legs, goblets of mead, and good old-fashioned beheadings.
In reality, however, it’s been 18 years since Will and Kate started dating, and 8 years since they got married.
(Waity Katie really earned that nickname back in the day, y’all!)
Sure, they’ve had their share of ups and downs over the years — William’s recent cheating scandal wasn’t exactly a high point in the relationship — but for the most part, royal watchers believe they know everything there is to know about Will and Kate, and it’s mostly pretty boring.
But there are folks have dug deep into Will and Kate’s past — much deeper than any of us would ever care to go.
They’re the royal-watcher equivalent of JFK assassination conspiracy theorists who can tell you what colort shoelaces Oswald was wearing on the day of the shooting.
And a shared belief among Will and Kate obsessives is that the couple has buried many secrets about the early days of their relationship.
Earlier this year, we reported on the rumors surrounding Kate’s illicit affair with an ex-boyfriend.
Basically, she got back together with her ex while she and Will were broken up, and even though there was no cheating involved, both Will and Buckingham Palace were reportedly displeased by that turn of events, which is why it’s seldom discussed these days.
Another issue that pops up about once a year only to be swiftly sewpt under the royal carpet is the matter of Kate’s allegedly dogged pursuit of Will in her youth.
The official royal narrative is that Will and Kate met by chance and immediately hit it off.
(Sure, he made her wait a solid decade before he proposed, but that’s a discussion for another time.)
But author and leading royal expert Katie Nicholl says that’s simply not the case.
Nicholl has been in the news a lot lately due to her stellar coverage of the ongoing turmoil within the royal family.
(In addition to Will’s errant scepter, the Windsors are still working to bury the alleged feud between Kate and Meghan Markle.)
As a result a 2013 interview in which Nicholl reveals the truth about Will and Kate’s early days has resurfaced:
“I was speaking to some of her friends at Marlborough school, which was where she went before St Andrews. They said, nuh-uh, she didn’t meet him at St Andrews, she met him before she got there,” Nicholl told Katie Couric.
“While she was at school in her sixth form, through some of her friends, they knew Prince William and Prince Harry. So there was an early meeting. That, for me, that changed everything.”
This feeds into the narrative that Kate had “set her sights on” Will and chose to take a “gap year” before attebning the University of St. Andrews — just like Will did.
A little creepy, but hey — there was literally a kingdom to be gained, and Kate’s gambit paid off.
These days, she and Will have three kids together, and he’ll take the throne whenever Prince Charles has the decency to buy the farm.
Given what we now know about how ambitious Kate is, we recommend that she not be permitted to prepare tea for either Charles or the Queen.
Beheadings may have gone out of fashion, but arsenic is still almost impossible to trace.
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