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Marnie Simpson has opened up on "one of the worst years" of her life for Mental Health Awareness Week.
The former Geordie Shore star, who recently found her perfect Disney-inspired wedding dress, took to her Instagram feed to speak out on her experience with her 4.1million followers.
The 29 year old shared a total of 10 photos and videos of herself in tears as well as looking downcast in a hospital bed before writing in the caption: "Wasn’t sure weather to post this as its very personal but it’s mental health Awareness week so I thought I would share my story with mental health".
The reality star was diagnosed with chronic UTI in 2016 but was able to keep her symptoms under control with bladder medication.
However, she explained just three years later her "life changed dramatically".
"it was one of the worst years of my life, my physical and mental health suffered dramatically and I don’t think any1 could understand the mental space I was in, going from a normal girl living her life like every1 else to being told my last option was have to have my entire bladder removed along with half my reproductive organs due to a incurable bladder condition that no doctor could diagnose or treat, it left me so depressed beyond words, unable to function,walk,even talk," she wrote.
Marnie, who went into a "really dark place" during lockdown, then heartbreakingly revealed: "the amount of agonising pain i endured 24/7 was unexplainable & I generally wanted to die, I thought there was no other option."
The health issue left her feeling like a "burden" on her family and despite spending thousands of pounds on medications and treatments no "doctor could help".
"I thought my life was over forever. living with what felt like shards of glass inside my bladder 24/7 with no relief was utter hell & the crazy thing is NOT ONE PERSON KNEW, I kept majority of my illness & depression private as I was ashamed & embarrassed," she continued.
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The TV personality then listed: "1. because it’s a humiliating problem & 2. I always felt like I would be judged for having depression which is SO WRONG.
"if it hadn’t of been for the people around me helping me cope with the pure struggle of every day life I don’t know how I would of coped."
Marnie, who is mum to one year old son Rox, continued: "I owe my life to Casey [Johnson] and my parents they literally kept the hope alive for me even when I lost it, I was in pure pain & deep sadness 24/7 thinking when will it end, will I ever have a normal life again, will my bladder ever not hurt, it effected everything I changed as a person, my relationships broke down, my work stopped, and I couldn’t be the mam i knew I truly was."
Marnie Simpson and Casey Johnson
Marnie Simpson stuns as she takes ad… Marnie Simpson swears by this 'unusu… Marnie Simpson gushes over son son R… Marnie Simpson says her traumatic la…
Urging her followers to hang in there, she added: "I’m posting this to help people. who ever is struggling and don’t have any hope TRUST ME there is always HOPE, you have to fight, stay strong and keep going & never give up
"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN SOMEONES LIFE they could be fighting the hardest battles and you just don’t know so please be kind #mentalhealthawareness".
Marnie ended her statement by revealing Urologist Dr Cüneyd Sevinç in Istanbul helped her reclaim her life as she added: "In Oct 2020 @drcuneydsevinc operated on my bladder and gave me my life back," followed by an angel emoji.
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.
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