My girlfriend says I have to wear a face mask in bed.
On top of that she is insisting on full, old fashioned pyjamas with the windows wide open (for ventilation).
We’re to have hot showers before and after intercourse and start using condoms again.
I’m not allowed to kiss her (for fear of germs) or suggest any sexual positions that require us to be face-to-face.
I’ve asked her if she’d like me to go one step further and come to bed in a full hazmat suit – like something out of television show Line Of Duty – and she just sighs and tells me to shut up.
I complain that our heating and hot water bills are about to go through the roof, but she says that she’s worth it.
The problem is that she’s become super Covid conscious.
We’re just back living together after staying with our respective parents for the past year.
We’re sorting out our neglected flat and getting used to each other’s company again. But safe sex is an issue.
She’s trying to impose a raft of rules that range from the reasonable to the downright bonkers.
We’ve yet to sleep in the same bed because she’s insisting on 20 days of isolation, or “re-entry time”, which is up to her. But once she is ready to resume sexual congress, everything is going to be different and I’m to forget the life we had before.
I love her but, like in everything else, she’s going too far.
She’s even hinted she’d like to impose a strict time limit on our sex sessions to reduce risk and might even require me to have a wash during sex if I take too long to climax. She’s threatening to scrub all the passion, love and excitement out of bedtime.
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JANE SAYS: I have sympathy for your super cautious girlfriend. For the past year she’s been holed up with her parents and now she’s back in the familiar surroundings of your flat – but nothing is quite the same.
She’s obviously desperately keen to keep you – and herself – safe. Tell her you love her passion and appreciate her concern, but have to be able to have your say.
If she’s currently isolating and neither of you have any symptoms, then does everything have to be so extreme?
Should you and she take a Covid test and not touch until you both receive negative
results? In your letter you hint that she’s prone to taking things too far in general.
How can you work together on calming her down and helping her to put things into perspective?
Remind her that you love her and that sex should be celebrated as an act of joy. Safe sex is sensible, but has she slept with anyone else?
Work together on compromises and acceptable guidelines and insist that your voice and opinion is heard.
Hopefully she’ll calm down soon and relax into a rhythm that you can both enjoy.
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