DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been with my partner for 22 years and we still aren’t official.
Since the first of our two teenage boys was born 18 years ago I’ve been really keen to marry but he always refused.
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Then five years ago he proposed out of the blue. I couldn’t believe it as we hadn’t spoken about marriage for ages as I didn’t want to put pressure on him. I’m 42 and my partner is 45.
But since his proposal there is still no talk of setting a date. My partner says the thought of getting married and everyone looking at him is terrifying. I completely understood until one of his friends asked him to be his best man.
He didn’t hesitate and agreed straight away – so he obviously can handle the attention. This really upset me, and I cried for days.
I’m so sad and can’t get over the whole marriage thing.
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Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner is clearly prevaricating. Did his parents divorce or have friends gone through bad times in their marriages and this is putting him off?
After so long, he needs to tell you the truth. Tell him you need to have an honest conversation about how you both see your future. It may be painful, which is why you may be avoiding the conversation, but if you don’t, the repercussions could spell heartbreak.
My support pack When Your Man Won’t Commit will help you to think this all through.
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