1.Mid-flow panic.
“How did they get in?! I definitely locked the door, right? RIGHT?! I THOUGHT I LOCKED THE DOOR!”
2.Strategise.
“What do I do?! I can’t get up because I’m in the middle of what was a very satisfying wee before this incident. Do I shout?! What do I shout?! Oh god, it’s too late…”
3.Shame.
“I’m an adult and I’ve still not learned how to properly lock a door and now because of that, some poor unsuspecting stranger has seen my privates. I was even holding pre-folded toilet paper so I was ready to wipe.”
4.Anger.
“Why were they just blithely walking into the bathroom anyway?! Don’t people knock these days! Did they not realise that I was in here just trying to relieve myself like any other human. Who can I complain to about this?!”
5.Interest.
“I wonder what they saw. Like, everything? Or were the folds of my clothes kind of covering things up a bit?”
6.Fear.
“I have to leave this toilet at some point. I’ve been in here for ten minutes having this crisis. Could I stay until the end of the day and then just act like I got trapped in there? If I come out now will anyone see me and know what happened?”
7.Sympathy.
“OMG, what if they are still there when I get out and they confront me? Did they leave? I can’t remember! The initial panic made my ears go all muffled. I can’t deal with seeing their face again.”
9.Indignance.
“Repeat after me: I shouldn’t be ashamed. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, even if it includes someone seeing you, pants down, enjoying a long and relaxing wee.”
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