I worry my wife will bump into a guy she had an affair with when she’s back going out to pubs

DEAR DEIDRE: I WORRY my wife will bump into a guy she had an affair with when she’s back going out to pubs with her friends. I asked her not to go to the old places she used to go with him but she thinks I am being unreasonable.

My wife had a couple of flings three or four years ago when we were going through a bad patch.


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I didn’t know anything at the time.

We worked through it all and tried to put it in the past. I am 38 and she is 37.

One of the men now lives 200 miles away but the other is local.

I hate the idea of her bumping into him while out with her friends.

They covered for her before when she was seeing him.

I rang her when she was out recently and she was in one of the pubs she’d promised she would avoid.

She’s angry I don’t trust her but am I wrong?

DEIDRE SAYS: Which pub she’s in is not the issue.

The problem is you have lost trust.

That is best rebuilt by ensuring you two have great times together, not by trying to police her when you’re apart.

How much fun do you have together?

My e-leaflet Your Relationship MoT can help.

READ YESTERDAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I’m having friends-with-benefits sex with mate who has a girlfriend and a son

READ DEIDRE'S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Alexa’s pals suggest a threesome after she moves in

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