DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my wife died last year, I’ve grown very close to her widowed friend.
I would like to turn our friendship into a romantic relationship, but I’m worried she’ll reject me.
I’m 62 and the lady is 60. Her husband died five years ago. We talk often and have been out for coffee a few times.
I do get lonely and sad, and she has been very supportive. I find her extremely attractive and miss having love in my life.
But I have no idea if she feels the same way about me. And she may feel she’s betraying the memory of her husband, or my late wife, who was her friend for many years.
I’m worried if I ask her out and she says no, it will ruin the friendship we’ve developed.
Any advice on how I should handle this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is natural to worry you’ll spoil your friendship if you suggest taking things to another level.
But if you don’t say anything, you’ll never know where you stand.
And she may feel the same but be scared to tell you too. Perhaps you could talk generally about finding love again, and if she would consider dating, to sound her out.
Make it clear that even if she’s not interested, you don’t want to lose her as a friend.
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