So you’re finally over your old flame. Your nights of eating dry cereal over the sink and crying while watching Titanic with your cat for the ninth time have healed your wounds and you’re ready to get back in the saddle to find someone new. But there isn’t exactly a line of suitors knocking at your door. You’ve got to take matters into your own hands, and the digital age calls for digital dating. Maybe at this point you’ve downloaded an app (or two or three) and set up your profile.
Now it’s time to get to business and start messaging some cuties, but knowing what to say can feel totally awkward and overwhelming, especially if you’ve been out of the dating world for some time. Luckily, we’ve got some spark-starting conversation openers for you. Obviously, the most important thing is to be yourself, but try some of these tricks if you are feeling stuck.
Simple ways to start a good conversation
Those on dating apps know that you’re trying to find a partner, obviously, so it’s expected that you will ask questions that are get-to-know-you style. Although these can seem a little cheesy, they can be effective to get a chat flowing with someone you’re interested in, and they will help you determine whether or not you two are compatible.
Firstly, do not do the “hey…” It’s lazy and ineffective. Instead, do some research on their profile and use that information to kick things off. Do they like a band or movie you like? Ask them about that. It’s always a good idea to say their name in your introduction, too, as it feels more personal (via Dating Advice).
People like talking about themselves, so a good starter is something like, “How would you describe yourself in a few words?” or “What are you greatest strengths and weaknesses?” A lighter approach could be, “When was the last time you giggled uncontrollably and why?” Questions like these allow you to gain insight about the way the other person views themselves, which is an important start.
A good way to transition into discussing in-person date ideas is to ask your love interest what they like to do on the weekends or what hobbies they have. Maybe you both like hiking, playing video games, or just eating. Or maybe you have nothing in common and should let this one go. Whatever the case, you need to ask questions to get started (via Bustle).
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