Lol Guys, Where the Hell Is Nick on 'Handmaid's Tale'?

[Spoilers ahead for this season of The Handmaid’s Tale. If you’re not up to date on the show, feel free to exit this post!]

Three episodes ago, Handmaid’s Tale shocked everyone with a Nick-related twist: The only halfway decent dude in Gilead was actually an important player during the Crusade. Gasp.

What does that actually mean? Legit no clue, but before June could even process the news, he was shipped out to “the front” in Chicago, leading a bunch of soldiers. Very fishy!

There has been literally no news about him since. None. It’s unclear whether he’s alive, whether he’s actually a bad guy, or if this is all some big misunderstanding…like, WTF?

Seriously, where the hell is Nick? I mean, yes, he’s off to Chicago, but can’t we get a single update? If he’s doing shady sh*t, the fans need to know!!

If Handmaid’s Tale isn’t going to do give us some intel on our favorite ex-driver, I’m going to have to fill in the damn blanks myself. Here are some personal theories about this that no one technically asked for but I’m going to include them here just because I feel like it.

He’s no longer living.

Yeah. I’m sorry, but I have this sneaking suspicion that Nick is actually dead, and that’s why we haven’t seen him in multiple episodes. I also have a feeling Serena knows Nick is dead, and she is waiting to pull out this info until the worst possible minute. You know, the same way she told June he was a soldier when June thought she have solved her entire problem. It’ll be manipulative and very crappy of her. RIP Nick…Maybe.

He’s in Canada, figuring out a plan to get everyone he likes out of the hell hole that is the former U.S.

LOL, this would legit never be the case because Handmaid’s is entirely too depressing, but a girl can dream! Can we get a reunion of this moment pls and thx?

They could be a really great team except for the fact that they both have children with the same woman so things could potentially get awkward at times. Other than that, we’re good!

He took that one guy up on the offer he gave Serena.

Remember the American dude who told Serena he could get her out of Gilead and into Hawaii where she could live the rest of her life? Serena was dumb for passing on that offer, so Nick took that guy up on it, and he’s currently living “on island time” sipping a cocktail. He would not be making this sad face anymore.

He’s actually in Chicago, but it’s not what you’d expect.

And while you might think that means he’s like, off fighting a war, I personally feel that Nick is actually knee-deep in a traditional Chicago pizza that looks like this:

A post shared by Giordano’s Pizza (@giordanospizza) on

And “Chicago” is just a code word for getting the hell out of Gilead, and he and his bois are having a grand old time.

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